November 4th

Wisconsin will have a new governor, Madison will have a new congressman, and my Dad will have a new brain. Well, maybe not an entirely new brain, but hopefully a “good as new” brain. Maybe even a “better than new” brain. Unless that means he forgets everything from before, like who I am. That would be less than ideal. But then maybe I could reinvent myself and pretend that I never did shitty things as a teenager, like sneaking out… and getting busted for it. Or the many other things I’d prefer not to mention in case he still doesn’t know about them… Ha, ha. Kidding Dad! I totally never drank that bottle of gut rot gin that you kept under the kitchen sink! That would be really irresponsible! And also disgusting. And would make a person, fifteen years later, still puke into her mouth at the merest whiff of gin.

By the way, just want to say, very clever, Dad. Once Jay hits fifteen or so, Chris and I will be heading to the liquor store for the cheapest bottle of Nasty, and we’ll keep it, all innocent like, under the kitchen sink, you know for cooking and whatnot. And when he sneaks a nip late one Friday night after we’re asleep, and vomits on the living room floor, we’ll hold back our snickers, clean him up and watch him swear off alcohol for the next ten or so years.