Just wanted to report that we are all better, so you can invite us to your Christmas party now. We promise not to infect you like we did my entire office suite this week, or Jay’s classroom or my family members on the East coast who somehow contracted conjunctivitis virtually and who now won’t even answer my phone calls for fear of us transmitting some other germ fest.
Kidding. I do not know why they won’t answer my calls.
Kidding again. I suspect they don’t answer my calls because I don’t actually like, call, and stuff. And this reminds of something to complain about.
Kids and phone calls. Why is it that every time, EVERY time, the phone rings, the kids seize upon that very moment to:
-Break something
-Kill each other
-Fashion a weapon
-Break something else
-Decide it is high time to try rappelling off of the third floor balcony
-Whisper forcefully to me, as if whispering somehow makes it possible to hold two different conversations simultaneously
-Jump on their beds (They have bunk beds. Think about the physics of this.)
-Spill something
-Bite the dog
-Cry because the dog bit them back, and WTF, mom?
-Need their butt wiped
-Find something gross to step in, put their fingers in, put into their mouths, or rub into their hair
-Run around the condo at top speed (we have a 1000 square foot condo. Think about the physics of this)
-Slam into a wall at top speed
-Spill something else
-Sing “Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I LOVE YA, TOMORROW!” while spinning around wildly and careening into furniture
-Try furtively to repair broken stuff with pounds of Scotch tape and the sash from my bathrobe
So, friends and family, if you’ve ever wondered why I am more accessible on Facebook than on my cell phone, there you have it. I am still trying to get the tape and bits of lampshade off of my bathrobe sash.
So, um, can we come to your Christmas party or what?
I really don't know when, since the Christmas calendar has filled so quickly, but we should really get together for a Christmas party . You know, just us. And kids. and perhaps christmas cookies. Remember that party? So long ago there was only one child, and even he was in utero? Let's do it again, five children later.
ReplyDeleteI know, right. Why does littles end up in the midst of chaos the second we're on the phone? Mine does the same damn thing.
ReplyDeleteAll of the sudden, there is something REALLY super important she just has to tell me. Or all of the sudden, "I need to poop, Mommy!" "Okay, so go." "MOMMY, I POOPED!!!"
Glad that you and the family are over your sickies.
does = do
ReplyDeleteSo glad you and the crew are doing better. I would have come up to help but ewwwwhhh… What an unbelievably miserable experience, almost inconceivable… ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-b7RmmMJeo ) BTW, did you know the original idea for Super Glue was derived by a parent battling the scourge of pink eye? Anyhow, be they two legged or four legged, kids seems to act the same re: the phone. My girls think that the ring of the phone = the clang of the bell that signals the start of the UFC death match. In all truth though, since they don’t understand what a phone is and that we are communicating with another person, it must look to them like we have put a shoe up to our ear and are animatedly interacting with it. And in that context, “I got to go poop” is a valid counter proposal!
ReplyDeleteThis is like the funniest thing I've read in...well...hmmm...ah....a long...time!! Yeah thats it! I love it!! Please come on over and see mine. :)
ReplyDeletewww.hearawhisperat.blogspot.com (altho not nearly as funny, but maybe as contagious (hopefully))
well...I have 2 others....ah, actually 3 -
www.oneverypath.blogspot.com and www.befreckledallover.blogspot.com and www.sweetnuptial-ideas-at.com pheeeew!
Jenny :^)