Back in the Saddle

Sort of. Where have the last five months gone? Since I last updated my blog (I am a little embarrassed that I have been gone for so long), I have:

1) December- celebrated the Christmas holidays, 2) January- gotten into a small scuffle with a burglar in Miami involving aggravated assualt and lots of bad words 3) February- completed our annual audit at the office and... 4) March- had a baby.

March 22, 2006
Having never felt a contraction before, I did not realize that what felt like menstrual cramps for weeks prior to delivering were actually contractions. CONTRACTIONS! Like women have on the TeeVee! On this particular night, I was minding my own business, and after having taken a shower and dried off, noticed, well, some fluid running down my leg. Now here’s the thing. As you get farther along into pregnancy, sometimes...ah, sometimes, bladder control is not always, well, your strongest attribute. So first I asked myself, “Self, did you pee?” and Self said, “Nope.” (Cynically, I thought, “of course not, it’s NEVER anybody’s fault, right?”). Anyway, I shook my head and went to bed.

At one o’ clock in the a-yem, I got up to use the bathroom, and then just like that, my water broke. And how. It was of deluvian proportions. And I was happy, because it meant that I had not, in fact, peed myself earlier. After the glee from learning that I was still the master of my own bladder abated, I came to the sobering realization that water breaking equals labor. And then I was totally, completely, and utterly petrified.

So, I’ll admit that I was not ready for this. Sure I was pregnant. Sure pregnancy is often caused by a baby being in your uterus. And often that baby comes out. But still. By my count, I still had two weeks and one day until my due date, AND who the heck shows up early to a party, anyway? I still had work to get done at the office and my hospital bag wasn’t even packed ferchristsakes.

We called the doctor and decided to meet at the hospital. I am an environmentalist. I am a fitness dork. I am stubborn. True to form, after my water broke, I walked to the hospital. Technically, I waddled, leaving a swath of water behind. And actually, the real reason I walked to the hospital was so that I could forever hold it over my kid’s head: I WALKED to the hospital while I was in excruciating labor with you. You can walk to school.

Ready or Not, Here He Comes
Jay was born at 4:05 AM. He was born via C-Section, and the doctors narrated the entire process for me. It was surreal to suddenly go from pregnant girl to mom. The doctor shouted, “and here we go!” as she held up this gray, squirming creature, purportedly from my belly. After making sure that I was o.k., Chris went over to check things out. He smiled as he told me that we had a red head, and then showed me the most amazing, littlest person ever, wrapped in a blanket. The doctors sewed me up, while I gazed at this little guy and wept. It was intensely emotional, only I couldn’t tell which emotion. Joy? Relief? Fear? Worry? Exhaustion? Elation?

He was born absolutely perfect, and I spent hours staring at his perfect little features. At his twitching red lips that would grin and then grimace with no real explanation, at his blue-gray eyes, at his dimples, at his squirming limbs. I read him stories and sang him songs and cuddled and cradled this little, perfect, person.

They sent us home four days later with our very own baby. We didn’t have to pass a test or anything.

Back at home
I was on maternity leave for seven and a half weeks. It absolutely flew by. For the first several weeks I felt like I didn’t know night from day, (because Jay didn’t) and spent many, many sleepless nights rocking him to sleep, only to stand up to put him in his crib and have him wake up... and repeat. The apartment was a wreck, we had take-out for dinner more than I care to admit, and changed boatloads upon boatloads of diapers. Nothing that was real exciting, and yet plenty that was exciting, in a new parent, “omygosh, we have achieved EYE CONTACT” kind of a way.

He will be two months old tomorrow, and things are steadily improving... mostly because he has learned to smile. Because he has mastered smiling, I now am certain that my son is a genius. Also, he can hold his head up, which pretty much cements it. He is Harvard bound.

So, I will end this epic entry with the promise of pictures soon to post. Check back here in the next couple of days, o.k.?