I'm o.k. ... is that o.k.?

I am a pretty content person. It doesn’t take a lot to please me, and I don’t like change. But a thought occurred to me recently that I might content myself right through life. What if, because I am o.k., I never strive for great?

So I started to make a list. One of those, “five things I’d like to do before I die” kinda deals.

And it stumped the hell out of me.

I tried to be funny, but couldn’t see how that would help matters. When I forced myself to really think about what I wanted to have achieved with my time in this body, I was stymied. Because, mostly, I am o.k. I don't really feel like I need to do much.

Then I wondered… is that o.k.?

Should I be restless? Should I be anxious for the next big accomplishment? Do I need a plan? Should I be depressed that I am not depressed about my accomplishments (or lack thereof)?

I have never been to Europe. I don’t own a big house or drive a fancy car. I don’t earn the big bucks. I don’t have a high powered, exciting job. I have never won a race or been voted most popular. I have never been on the Price is Right. I have never made a soufflé. I probably can't even pronounce it right. I suck at crossword puzzles and at anything requiring hand-eye coordination. I do not “network”, play hockey or sing well. I do not play a single musical instrument. I have never had a fling, snuck into a movie or hitchhiked.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am not anxious about what I haven’t done.

And I am o.k. with that, too.

Does this make me complacent or just happy? Perhaps they are two sides of the same coin. As I started to make my list, I realized that I was making the wrong list. I was answering the wrong question. Because I’ll be o.k. if I never run a marathon, write a book or cruise the streets of Paris on a moped clutching a chic purse and a Parisian hunk.

My life will not have been a failure. I will not be consumed with disappointment. But here’s the thing. While there are not things I need to do before I die, there are things I need to be before I die. After I am gone, my own accomplishments won’t matter so much. What will matter is that people will be able to say the following five things about me:

1. She really made me feel valuable
2. She inspired me
3. She made me smile, and always had one to share with me
4. She was genuine
5. She worked to make the world a better place

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to run a marathon and write a New York Times Bestseller about it while simultaneously bringing the eastern lowland gorilla back from the brink of extinction and single handedly patching the hole in the ozone layer. But, I may not do those things. There will be lots of things that I will do and they probably won’t be perfect or even noteworthy.

What is important to me is that I am a good listener, a good spouse, mother, sister, friend and daughter, and a loving person. If people can honestly say these things about me, I will have achieved great.

And besides, if I create a checklist of things to do before I die, and cross them all off the list... then is it time to go?

I’d prefer not to tempt fate with such a tangible agenda.