I want to be Somebody

I was waiting at the bus stop last winter. It was cold. Really cold. I was wearing my down jacket, warm boots, a scarf, mittens, probably long johns. I don’t remember exactly. What I do remember is standing there watching a girl about my age, shivering. She only had on a t-shirt and jeans. She had her arms pulled into the sleeves of her short-sleeved shirt and she huddled inside the bus shelter to protect herself from the wind. Another bus patron kindly offered her his sweatshirt and she gladly accepted. I felt like a jerk for watching her shiver and not thinking that Hey! I should or could do something, too.

I sidled up to her and smiled. I asked if she could use a scarf and why she was shivering at a bus stop in January in only a t-shirt. Turns out she had just been released from jail and they turned her out in what they brought her in with: a t-shirt and jeans. No matter that it had been a good deal warmer when they brought her in. We talked a little while longer until her bus came and she told the same story to the bus driver, who waived the fare that she couldn’t pay.

I spent the bus ride home thinking that somebody, SOMEBODY should do something about that. Nobody should be released from jail in the height of winter in a thin t-shirt, regardless of what circumstances brought them in. Our sense of humanity ought to prevail. Yes. Somebody should definitely do something about that. Somebody. Should. Somebody.

I look around at all these problems and wonder why nobody is doing anything about them. I shake my head and then my fist and I get angry and then sad because, PROBLEMS, and then I wonder when things are going to get taken care of. Then I woke up the other day and realized that identifying the problem only gets you part of the way there. And it’s not enough for me to sit on my ass and point out all of the deficiencies in the system. I might actually have to get out of the peanut gallery and get my hands dirty and work to make change in the world. I am going to have to be that somebody, at least sometimes.

And so I’ve been thinking a lot about community building lately. Friend making. Network building. Social capital raising. Karma seeding.

In the end, all we really have is each other. This sounds rather cliché, but I can’t help but believe it. We are better people because of the bonds that we make with others. We accomplish more together. We are social creatures with a need to interact with each other. Without a connection with others, are we fully human?

Lately I have been making an effort to reach out to others. To be that somebody, at least sometimes. Wondering how I can help others, how I can make their lives easier, better, happier. It may come back to me. But that’s not the point. The point is to reach out to others and establish a connection that makes them feel valued. To give help when it is needed, and love when help isn’t enough. Before we break out into spontaneous drumming circles and get all kumbaya and huggy-huggy, let me say that I am still me. Which means I still tend toward the introvert side and still find myself wondering when somebody, SOMEBODY is going to fix problem X, until I remember that there is no somebody. Only me. Only us.

I didn’t ask her name or offer her any money. What I did was give her what we all need. Support from others, kindness from strangers. Dignity. Encouragement. I offered her a little bit of warmth that day by way of my scarf, but what I got in return was more like a fire. A spark of realization that there is no somebody. Only me. Only us.

So here are ten things I have committed to doing that won’t solve all the world’s problems, but might just be good anyway:

-Taking walks and making eye contact with folks I see along the way
-Inviting my neighbors over for dinner (we’ve lived next door for nearly three years and our total interaction is still mostly limited to the single raised-index-finger-over-the-steering-wheel wave as we pass each other in the parking lot).
-Picking up litter
-Volunteering to organize a pot-luck for the Condo Association
-Finding one nonprofit to volunteer some time to
-Baking extra to give away
-Fixing things I didn’t break
-Paying a kid to do an odd job
-Using the library more
-Planting a flower garden

They’re pretty small things. But hopefully you’ll do some of those too, and who knows? Maybe we’ll see each other out for a walk sometime. I hope so.