Sense of Place

As my job search heats up and the demise of our organization becomes imminent, I have been pondering many things. Sense of place, for one.

I had a job opportunity come across my desk yesterday. It was a great gig. A wonderful organization, good pay, and the position- deputy director- is a position I have sought since graduation. I even know the executive director personally, which is a huge leg up. The catch being that the job is in Denver. As in Colorado. As in, way the hell away from here.

I mulled that over last night, and talked with Chris, and mulled it over some more, and talked with Chris some more. And in the end, it was simply this: the thought of leaving Wisconsin makes me sad. And I knew that ignoring that gut feeling would be bad. Bad, bad, bad. So this morning I withdrew my application for the position. Not that I know what I’ll do now. But I guess in a sense it was a good thing, because it helped me affirm what I have felt for years. I have found my sense of place. And leaving now would upset that balance that my spirit has found here in the Midwest.

It’s hard to describe, but I feel… good here. I feel like this is where I should be, where we should be. Perhaps not always in Madison, and maybe not always in Wisconsin. But there is something in my soul, something in the way the leaves change and the spring renews life each year that holds me here. My parents were born in the Midwest, though both emigrated south to Miami when they were young. Sometimes I think it is simply that pull of family history that plants me here. Not that I know any distant family from Detroit or South Bend or Chicago now. But I feel such a strong pull to the area, leaving is hard to consider.

So here I will stay and I continue to have hope that jobs will turn up and the picture will get rosier. I know that makes my parents sad, which in turn makes me sad. But I feel so complete here, it's hard for me to turn away from that. I rejoice in the crisp fall leaves and the new shoots in spring, but there is also something on a deeper level that I feel here that, as wordy as I am, I am unable to articulate. It just feels right. And when you find a place that feels right, you should celebrate it. I am grateful that I have found that place. That being said, we love company. So come join us! I believe you'll find this place every bit as endearing and wonderful as we do. If not, at least come stay on our couch and enjoy the cheese curds and great microbrews while you're here.

Tonight, we are headed up to Clintonville for Halloween festivities. Ella will go as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and Sofia will be the Wicked Witch of the West. I tried valiantly to convince Jay that he wanted to be a lion or a tin man or a scarecrow, but he stood firm. He is to be an octopus. Only an octopus. No other costume will do. So Chris and I have cobbled together an octopus costume. Thanks to Chris, it has turned out pretty decent.

Happy Halloween!