I am trying to channel my inner Dave Barry, but so far… nothing. Instead what is going through my mind is a scrolling list of all my worries, mostly having to do with the fact that I could be facing down unemployment next month. Sometimes when I am worried, I make lists. Or write letters. Letters that I never send, because I oh my god is THAT a dumbass thing to do, because this one time… oh never mind. Anyway, sometimes I do both. I find putting it down on paper takes it off my chest and puts it out to the Universe for a stronger force to deal with it. Here then, is my letter to the universe tonight, making this post way more Judy Blume than Dave Barry. Ah well, you get what you pay for, folks.
Dear Universe,
Please help me find a job. I don’t want to be picky… except that I do want to be picky. I’d like it to be here in Madison. Barring that, I’ll take something here in Wisconsin. After all, soon I won’t have an expired license anymore, and I’ll be completely legit.
Right after I go to the DMV and present them with my birth certificate.
Which will be right after I get a new copy of my birth certificate.
Which will be right after I order one from the state of Florida, and then wait the five to six weeks it’ll take to get here.
On second thought, Universe, how necessary is it to be legit?
Truth is, Universe, I’d like to stay right where I am, expired license or not. I like where I work. Sure the pay is mediocre, but the benefits are great, and I love the place. As you know, we continue to wait on word from one grant. If it’s a yes, then I might have a job come January. If it’s a no, then I’ll be boxing up my picture frames and office plants next month.
I hate to beg because I know you’re awfully busy, but I do need your help. I’ve tried to go it alone for a while now, dutifully networking, scattering resumes all over town, trolling the internet for job openings. I have loaded “What Color is Your Parachute” on to my iPod and made heavy use of my friends and relatives for job leads. But here’s the thing, Universe. I’d like to be the executive director of an environmental organization. I’d like to be the executive director of MY organization. I believe in the organization, I love the people and I know the organization better than anyone. I am not ready to see it go down, and also, I am not ready to be out of a job. I’d like the opportunity to take the organization to the next level.
If taking over the organization is not in the cards, please help me find a job that is as fulfilling and will support my family. Um, here in Madison. Working for the environment. With good health and dental. And free parking. And also flextime and great coworkers. Oh, and dog friendly. It’s got to be dog friendly. And casual dress. Near a coffee shop, if possible. And a retirement plan, if it’s not too much trouble. Yep, that should do it.
Warmly,
Missy
( Universe… did you just… did you just roll your eyes?)
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