I am on to you. You are out to make us all look like jackasses. And judging by what I see on campus and in stores, you are most of the way there. But let me tell you something. You are not as cute as you think you are. And you will not succeed in turning me into an eighties fashion victim. Again.
Neon green and hot pink? Bunched hem lines, weird frilly- lacy blouses with asymmetrical neck lines, coupled with big, bunchy, poofy midsections? Come ON. And also, nobody- repeat, NOBODY- looks good in skinny jeans. I promise. Can we please forget that ever happened to popular culture? Splotchy bleach marked jeans with large gaping holes in the knees and rear are what happens when I do the laundry, not what I expect to pay $75 for, brand new.
Eighties fashion, I can recognize your evil plan to make a fool out of all of us. Do you realize the good hard laugh we had when your fashion era finally subsided? We mocked the gummy bracelets and big bangly earrings. We mocked the bright, horrible colors and too-tight zippered ankle jeans that made everyone's ass look thrice as big. We mocked the t-shirts gathered to one side, haughtily tied in a knot.
And yes, we mocked your hair.
No good can come of this. Please go away and never return. Especially if you attempt to bring stirrups and body suits back.
Hugs and kisses,
Me
I stopped in at a clothing store on my way home from work today, hoping to pick out a cute new blouse or skirt for spring. I came out empty handed and so disheartened. Who would DO that to a perfectly good A-line skirt? Why?
Girl, it ain't for Every body. 80s stuff can be fun, and quirky....but your personality must follow suit...young and perky, I would say.
ReplyDeleteBut believe...one will never get me into an 80s dress with a bow on the hip or rump.
Anyone else having Molly Ringwald flashbacks?
ReplyDelete