Ella started coughing last night.

Actually, it was more like barking. Ella started barking last night. The night before, she had nursed almost constantly and felt warm. Now she felt hot. Her eyelids were droopy and she was lethargic, of course with the intermittent bursts of energy that sick kids always, inexplicably, have. Mostly though, she just cuddled against my chest and dozed in my arms. Occasionally she would rouse to ask for water or to nurse, always in a voice that I barely recognized, raspy and weak.

It worried me so much that I thought to wake Chris’ aunt to take a look at her. Annette, a Nurse Practioner, was asleep by the time I worked myself into a real state of worry and I decided to wait until morning. Morning came and I sheepishly asked Annette to look at Ella. Sheepish not because I doubted that Ella was very sick but because I know that medical professionals must tire of being asked for free advice from friends and family and I was wary of overstepping my bounds. Annette unhesitatingly pulled out her stethoscope and took a good look at her.

As Annette listened to Ella’s wheezy lungs, Chris shuttled our luggage out to the minivan on our way to the airport. The plane would be boarding in an hour. Is she well enough to travel? Is it pneumonia? Do we need to get her to an ER? Do we simply dose her with benydryl and hope for the best?

Sometimes you just need someone else to make the call. She advised us not travel and instead suggested we bring Ella into her office. In my quest to do the best thing for Ella, my ability to make good decisions had devolved into a myriad of half thoughts. Maybe Chris and Jay should go home and I stay in Alaska until she is strong enough to travel? …What if she stops breathing in the airport? …What if she stops breathing on the airplane? …How sick is too sick to travel? …Will insurance cover a doctor visit? …Will insurance cover the prescriptions? …How will I get my baby home? My baaaaaaaaaaaby is sick. How sick? What’s wrong? What do I do?

We skipped our flight, that's what we did. We took Ella in to Annette’s office and had her looked over more thoroughly. At this point we have mostly ruled out pneumonia and are zeroing in croup. We had to push our flight back two days and will be taking a red eye when we do fly home. Still, we get to stay in Alaska for a couple more days, see more of the family, and we do not have to haul a miserable little one through four airports in a twelve hour period.

I am extremely grateful for Annette and to the rest of the wonderful, warm, kind family that I have been lucky enough to be welcomed into. Pictures of Alaska to follow, I swear. Maybe even more to share now that we are on an extended vacation...