Things my Facebook status might say if I were not friends with people that have the power to fire me

"Melissa Gavin is not concentrating very well today"

"Melissa Gavin is thinking about what to pack for Alaska instead of what elements need to be included in this final report"

"Melissa Gavin is secretly looking at maps of Alaska and abruptly minimizing the window when an office mate walks by"

"Melissa Gavin is wishing the work day were over instead of just beginning"

"Melissa Gavin is wondering what to bring along to keep the kids occupied for five hours in the air"

"Melissa Gavin is wondering whether to bring her Tevas or her Keens to Alaska"

"Melissa Gavin is doing a piss-poor job of lots of things today"

"Melissa Gavin is pulling up travel sites while on a conference call"

"Melissa Gavin is doodling 'Melissa loves Alaska forever' with hearts and flowers all over her call notes"

"Melissa Gavin is, like, totally checked out"

Things to do before I go:

• Pack


• Make packing list


• Think of things to put on packing list


• Start packing again with packing list


• Realize (yet again) that I hate to be told what to do, even by my ownself. Ball up packing list.


• Toss list ball over my shoulder.


• Get distracted by mess in the room (Look at this! Someone threw a balled up packing list on the floor! God, does the cleaning in this house never END??)


• Begin obsessively cleaning entire condo


• Obsessively clean entire condo late into the night


• Give Chris the evil eye for not helping me regrout the bath tub at 2 am


• Fall asleep, exhausted


• Wake up in a panic to realize that I have still only packed a bathing suit, some lip gloss and a pair and a half of socks. Wonder why I packed a bathing suit. Contemplate which bathing suit, if any, I should bring.


• Go check the weather for Alaska


• Spend an hour on Facebook and get sucked into funny YouTube clips


• Get reminded by Chris that we need to leave in half an hour to catch the plane


• Roll eyes


• Open dresser drawers and scoop random clothing articles en masse into suitcase. Hope there is something in there that matches whatever else is in there. Guzzle large of amounts of coffee


• Spill coffee mug on newly steamvaccummed carpet


• Get huffy and emit generalized angry vibes


• Watch gratefully as Chris silently swoops in and saves the day by cleaning, packing for the kids and herding everyone out the door on time.


• Sheepishly thank Chris for this and the last nine years of this. Secretly wonder what I would do without him.


As you can see, there is still much for me to do. So how can I possibly work today? There's no time like the present to start procrastinating.