Happy Mother’s Day

First of all, is it “Mother’s Day” or “Mothers Day” or “Mothers’ Day”? Plural possessive, right? Because it seems to me that it is a day possessed by mothers but there are a lot of us, so I think that means the apostrophe should go at the end, but then again, maybe we don’t own it, because, really, can you possess a day, or any length of time for that matter? Isn’t that like trying to own a gas molecule or a sunrise or an isosceles triangle? Screw it. I’ll just go consult a Hallmark card and we can move on.

Second of all, how did three weeks go by without a single post, because, seriously, I meant to. I mean, really, what the hell? I have been busy growing my belly, simultaneously feeling too large to move and worrying that I am not growing fast enough. I am eating too much sugar! The baby will be diabetic! No! I am not eating enough sugar! I need to gain more weight! Give me that stick of butter and a spoon! Too much working out! I need to take it easy and let this baby grow! No, not enough working out! I need to get exercise or I’ll go crazy! More rest! I need more rest! No, more cleaning! This carpet must get steam vac’d RIGHT NOW!
Probably it is best I haven’t posted for the last three weeks. You haven’t missed much.

Except that Jay toured his kindergarten class this week (sniffle). He was positively exuberant. I was a complete wreck. He went from classroom to classroom, interviewing the teachers. Which classroom has a train? What kind of snacks do you serve? What books will we read? I tried hard not to let my chin tremble as he coolly assessed each room and looked so… so much a kindergartener. I mean really. When the hell did that happen? Who let that happen? They didn’t consult me, that’s for sure.

The garden is open and we have garlic, strawberries and asparagus showing us that winter didn’t completely kick our ass. It only feels that way to our pasty, freezer burned, shell-shocked selves. We had two feet above average snow fall this winter. The sun is rumored to still exist, but I have yet to see the evidence with my own eyes. I need temperatures that start with the letter “S” and I need some humidity or things are going to get ugly soon.

Jay and I made doughnuts from scratch this morning. It was his first doughnut ever. I tried to convince him that only I have the recipe for these magical little cakes. Once he learns to read and we pass a Krispy Kreme for the first time, though, the jig is up. Then I’ll have to act all indignant, like, “What the HECK? How did they get my super top-secret recipe? Ah well, I’m sure they are HORRIBLE imitations. Blech, gross, and also, ick.”

Let's see. What else? Ella is potty-training. Sort of, ish. Mostly I am swearing NOT TO BUY ANOTHER PACKAGE OF DIAPERS, anymore, at all, no way, nu-uh. All the while looking directly at her and telling Daddy that we have to save the rest of the diapers for the baby, because Ella is a big girl now and she has to wear big girl underwear. Ella just shrugs, stips off her wet diaper and tells us to save it for the baby. Then she grabs a fresh one. I guess we have taught her a little too well how important it is to reuse...