We already have the Polar Bear Plunge. Ice fishing is so mainstream, it doesn’t even raise an eyebrow. This year, there was a vote on whether you could legally hunt stray cats. You can buy brats in stores, and even eat them.
But this weirdism takes the cake: Dead Fish Polo. I am not making this up, and it is exactly what it sounds like. Canoeists and Kayakers meet up weekly in the Yahara River for a little game of Dead Fish Polo, in which you use your paddles as fish launchers, with the goal of lobbing one into your opponent’s boat. Other than this, there are no rules. No teams, no score keepers. Just a bunch of people hurling dead fish at one another. Sounds like fun, no?
To be perfectly fair, today’s games really only use large yellow sponges as ammo. I guess this is better than getting hit with a dead fish, but really, what isn’t better than getting hit with a dead fish? Anyway, I tried to play that game once with my older brother, when we were growing up, but I don’t remember it being all that much fun. Of course we were playing in the house. With fish sticks. At the dinner table. From my point of view, though, we shouldn’t have been sent to our rooms. We should have been credited with creative genius for coming up with a game that is taking over Wisconsin today.
Work on Chloe continues, although I am at a point where it doesn’t seem like any progress is being made or will ever be made in my lifetime. I guess I am just a results oriented person. I want to see progress. Now. And while Chloe is growing up, she is sort of in the “terrible twos” stage. She is becoming a pain to take anywhere, because when we’re together, I can’t make adult conversation with others because I have to focus all of my attention on her (knit two, purl three, o.k., let me just finish this row and I’ll answer your question. Yes, I would like fries with that. Kit three, cable front four… Yes, I realize I am holding up the line, but my row is almost complete ferchristsakes and she’s going to get fussy if I put her down!). Geez, it feels like she is going to be this way forever.
Seeing results is one reason I like to bake. And while it is a little warm for me to get all inspired about baking right now, I am posting my favorite speedy yeast bread recipe for any of you who are in cooler climes or are enjoying the pleasures of air conditioning.
Speedy Frugal Bread
5-6 cups of flour (you can substitute whole wheat flour for 1-2 cups)
2 tablespoons of dry yeast (I usually get away with only 1 tblsn, though.)
2 tablespoons of sugar
1/2 tablespoon of salt
2 cups of hot water (120-130 F)
1 tablespoon of sesame or poppy seeds (optional)
Mix 4 cups of flour with yeast, sugar and salt. Pour in hot water and beat 100 strokes or three minutes with a mixer. Stir in remaining flour until dough is no longer sticky. Knead 8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl and cover with a damp towel for 15 minutes. Punch down and divide into 2 pieces. Shape into 2 round loaves. Or 2 long loaves or 2 depictions of the Virgin Mary. Place on baking sheet and cut slashes on top about ½” deep. Brush with water and sprinkle with seeds if you’re into that. Place on middle shelf of COLD oven. Place a pan of hot water on the lowest shelf. Heat the oven to 400 F and bake 40-50 minutes until a deep brown. Slather with butter and enjoy, or if you took the Virgin Mary route, sell on e-bay. Split the profits with me.
Once you get to liking the speediness of this recipe, you can take liberties, as I do. I usually use about half whole wheat flour and half white flour. Sometimes I throw in fresh or dried herbs into the dough as I knead it. Shredded cheese is another great addition. Whatever. Get creative. Enjoy. See results. In an hour. It is a beautiful thing.
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