Miracles Really do Happen.

Ask me, I know. Today Tabasco and I came home from a long day at the office (yes, the entire seven hours- AND I spent some of that doing actual work.) The apartment was empty, except for Kodiak, Tabasco's pet dog, who was quietly snoozing in his kennel. I walked into the kitchen and here is what I found:



Do you know what that is? Me neither. But I found out. Wrapped modestly in a white paper napkin, lay one ginormous chocolate chip COOKIE. There it was, just sitting on the counter: Perfect. Whole. Beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye, just to think about it. And I didn’t put it there. Praise the Lawd and thank you Jesus! I know what you’re thinking: “maybe your husband put it there. You know, the other person who lives with you?” But, AHA! Chris left yesterday for a weekend fieldtrip, and won’t be back until Sunday. (So much the better- I hate sharing.) But it certainly begs the question: “who did leave this precious gift?” My friends, let us remember the golden rule of cookie discovery: “Ours is not to question. Ours is only to devour and wipe the crumbs from our face before someone sees us.”

In my headiness to consume said cookie, I neglected to show due prudence, giving no pause to consider:

Does this cookie belong to someone else?

Was this cookie made with pee?

Who brought this cookie here, and if I eat it, will I be contractually obligated to live out the rest of my life in a harem somewhere in Saudi Arabia?

Did someone leave this cookie as a trade for my car?

If I eat this cookie, like Alice did in Wonderland, will I become a giant and bust through the roof?

Would I have to pay for those roof damages?

No, I did not consider any of these questions. Instead, I poured an equally ginormous glass of milk and thanked the cookie gods, whose good side I have apparently made it on to. Thank you, cookie gods.

My second thought came soon afterwards. (Technically it was my first, since knee-jerk reactions to lone, vulnerable cookies lying on the counter don’t count.) If I had actually bothered to lock my front door today, the cookie gods could not have gotten in. Hooray negligence! Three cheers for my false sense of security! Woohoo laziness! You have brought me much joy.

I may never know who brought this cookie into my apartment, but I hope they come back again. And bring some milk this time...