Yawn... is it nap time yet?

Am I a terrible mother because I look forward to nap time? After my morning coffee, I glance at the clock. Hmmmm… 8:00. About four more hours until nap time. Should I start getting Jay ready now? After nap time, plans start to revolve around bedtime. Well, we COULD go to the playground, but bedtime is only six hours away, and what if Jay gets too hyped up to go to sleep…?

I have been aiming to get Jay in bed between 8:30 and 9:00, but he usually is not sleeping until 10:00 or 10:30. It is not that I don’t love him, or don’t want to spend time with him. I am Just. So. Tired. I also would love the opportunity to look at a newspaper, or have an adult conversation with Chris or call my parents or even take a shower, all by myself. Sometimes I sit and simply try to enjoy the tranquility of the moment, but am usually comatose within seconds. I can sleep standing up these days. Holding a porcupine.

Jay, even as a newborn, has never seen the value of sleep. He remains convinced that we do really, really cool stuff when he is sleeping, and it is his mission in life to never miss a second of fun.

You know how they always advise new parents to “Sleep when the baby sleeps”? I take that advice to heart. I don’t even attempt chores, which is why I am so grateful to have a laundry hunk. With Chris being a stay at home dad, lots of things magically get done while I am busy with the little ones. Clean dishes appear where once there was a sink full of dirty ones. The eruption of Duplos and building blocks are taken care of by the time I emerge from the bathroom after Jay’s bath. The dogs get fed and taken outside while I am trying to get the little ones to sleep. I am so, so glad he is around. He does help with the kids, too, and I do some chores. But mostly we’ve found the easiest division of duties is the one we have settled on.

School starts next week, which will ratchet up the crazy here. I’ll be taking twelve credits this fall in an attempt to finish off grad school sooner. I have been working on my Master’s degree since just after Jay was born in 2006 while working full-time. It has been a precarious balancing act. I am so looking forward to a time when I do not have any homework hanging over my head or tests looming. It will be wonderful to curl up with a book and Jay and Ella and not worry about how it is cutting into my homework time.

So, in an attempt to get it done and over with while they are both still little, I am taking a full load this and next semester. It will make this summer all the sweeter. Wish me luck, and please know that if I disappear from time to time, it is nothing personal. I am probably:

a) Putting a kid to bed
b) Passed out with a book on policy reform in the late twentieth century on my chest
c) Making a pot of coffee
d) Passed out holding a pot of coffee