Are You Smarter Than a Three-Year Old?

...Cause I'm not.

It only took Jay getting to the ripe old age of three to start asking questions that were out of my league.

“Mama, what is thunder?”

“Why does the Earth rotate?”

“How do airplanes stay in the sky?”

Damn it.

I try really hard not to brag about my kids, so if this comes off as bragging, please forgive me. It is simply this: I am terrified that my three year old is quickly outpacing me in terms of understanding how the world works. I have always told myself that my lack of short term memory was alright, because, hey who bothers to memorize things in this world of Google and You Tube? Just Ask Jeeves or consult some other sage search engine about these mystifying questions.

Which works well until I am putting him to bed at night and he is pondering the laws of physics or whatever, and all I can do is mumble something about asking Daddy about it in the morning and I’m all, HUSHHUSHnomoretalkingHUSHHUSHitstimeforbednow. Then the moment he is asleep I scamper out of his room and consult the all knowing internet for answers to what electricity is made of and whether dandelions feel pain when you pick them.

Dude, I do not know.

And the older I get, I either forget more stuff or am able to accept that I don’t know LOTS of shit. For his sake I am trying to learn, but my understanding of most of this stuff is only about two hours older than his question. I am trying to steer clear of cooky answers like, “thunder is just God bowling in heaven”, which is tempting but would probably lead to all manner of other difficult questions like, “Mama, what is bowling?”

So, I am boning up on astronomy and physics and plant identification. Because while Chris is a veritable encyclopedia, he is not always around when I am floundering for answers about why the ocean is salty and what makes some trees lose their leaves in the winter but not others.

Forget about grad school. Jay is the best education I’ve ever had.