Friends!

I have friends! I just discovered a little something called “FaceBook”, you may have heard of it. I also discovered a little something called “email”, a handy little invention called the “wheel” and also, “fire.”

So.

I am not so good with the new technology. Rosie and Becca have been urging me for months (years?) to get on Facebook and I have always demurred. Too much work. I don’t have time. Blah, blah, blah. But then one day I was seized with the undeniable urge to google an old high school acquaintance. Where was she now? Did she go to college? Get married? Travel to India? Does she look old now?

Google didn’t have anything for me, but my new friend Facebook did…

And so began our new relationship. Of course, like any new recruit to Facebook I am filled with a frantic, uncontrollable urge to find as many friends as possible as fast as possible, so I don’t look like that loser sitting all by herself in the cafeteria. I sent a new friend request to Rosie, the most social of social butterflies I know.

And… she did not reply.

Which is like the Facebook equivalent to passing in the hallway and purposely not making eye contact, because she is so busy being cool.

Two minutes later, she STILL did not reply. I got desperate. Frantic. I could see my pathetic future laid out before me. Hanging out with the guys that do AV and making geeky jokes about calculus.

I called her and nagged her. And I was all, HELLO, I am trying to look cool here. Gimme all of your friends, like now, dude, before anyone notices that I don’t have any friends of my own.

And she was all, no loser. I don’t hang with girls who sit all by themselves in the lunchroom and make jokes about pi or whatever.

Finally, finally, finally, she became my friend, and then looky, looky, all of the sudden, I became vicariously cool, too. I have friends, too now.

Of course, I did have to buy her lunch.

But whatever. At least I am not sitting all alone in the Facebook cafeteria like a chump, anymore.
See how cool I am (ahem, Rosie is) , go here.